Be Brave the Modern Way


These are hard times and sometimes I fantasize about behaving really badly in public.

I am a warrior capable of altering the world through one subversive action. This single act would instantly cause The Big Mess to reconfigure properly. Everything would brilliantly self correct in a second and I would feel like a trillion bucks. I recommend any of the following remedies. Remember, you only have to do one of them.

Tell your boss exactly what you think of him, the lousy corporation you work for, the stupid meetings and endless busy work that constitute teamwork. Frequently express what no one else seems to get--there is no product or service being generated, and the whole place is only a claustrophobic hive filled with frenzied bees bumping into each other.

Don’t pay the mortgage—find out just how serious they really are about foreclosure.

Cancel life insurance. Quit using seat belts-- let your kids climb all over the place while you drive and talk on the cell phone. If some red-faced guy is on your tail, cursing and honking, slam on the brakes, jump out of your car and bash the side of his in with a cement filled lead pipe or bladder filled with pig blood.

Cancel skilled-care insurance. Instead, join the Hemlock Society. Stock pile plastic bags and stout rubber bands. Learn to drink vast quantities of quality vodka so you can easily wash down all those pills.

Cancel medical insurance. Locate one of the rebel physicians who, fed up with the paper work has shut down the office. Now he or she works out of the house and has converted the family room into a mini surgery.

Get over paranoia about insecticides and bacteria-ridden produce. Quit washing fruits and vegetable—just pop ‘em in your mouth (even better, do it right in the store). Remember, exposure to disease and toxins can actually help build strong immune systems.

Finally--don’t let fear take the fun out risk. Stand on the edge, flap your wings, leave the bungee cord in the trunk.



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