Thursday, August 13, 2009


I go to Tower, choose a leg of lamb and ask the ever-sullen butcher to bone it.

He does, and I say, “Thanks.” Turning away, he says, “No problem.”

What does this mean? And what was the problem he’d escaped? It’s true, there is a knife involved in boning and that does suggest risk; however, for an alleged professional this should be far less perilous than walking across any intersection.

Should I share his relief that nothing bad happened, perhaps congratulate him and inquire about his family? Or should I feel guilty, which is what I almost always feel when I hear, “no problem.”

You’re welcome—it’s the demise of that small grace note that bothers me. No problem, feels like a slap for some mysterious offence, and it makes me walk away unhappy.

Is this strange and alienating remark ever called for? Well, if I caught a baby as it fell from an open window, wheeled around at the moment the terrified parent crashes from the door, then tenderly lay the intact child into his trembling arms, then I could say it,—"Hey bro, no prob!"

5 comments:

  1. would I have used quotes around the "no problem" if not for grammatical correctness, then perhaps to make the phrase stand out "visually?"
    Nice selection of examples! I know that I'll be more careful of EVER using that phrase again.

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  2. there is also the term "no worries," which i first heard from all the Irish nannies we employed. i've started using it A LOT lately. i'm not sure why. do i think it sounds breezy and exotic? fresh? not tired like "no problem." "no problem" is like making room on the sofa when someone else sits down except you'd been planning to move over anyway for a better view of the tv and then they say "thank you" and you say... well, you know what YOU say.

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  3. hey, how can we link to each other's blogs? it'd be nice (there's another word! nice!) to share (there's another one! share!)

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  4. GRRR...few things irritate me as much as "no problem" given as a response to "thank you". I now say back to the speaker, in a rather loud and accusatory voice, "I never said there was a problem. Do you think there was a problem?" It really confuses people and gives my day a malicious little lift to leave them spluttering!

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  5. omg. i just reread your post about "no problem" -- about 10 months since I last read it -- and I thought to myself "Hmmm, I've been saying 'no worries' lately which is something our nannies used to say which I recall really bugged me." So, I went to post the comment about "no worries" and found I'd already commented on your "no problem" post with the "no worries" thing. i am truly losing it, or i'm just very consistent and predictable in my reactions and thoughts. lordy.

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